Couples have to intentionally do things together because the busyness of life will pull on you and drag you in different directions.
- You work on this side of town your spouse works on the other side of town.
- You take one kid to ballet your spouse takes the other to football practice.
- You are traveling north to check on your mom your spouse is traveling
South to check on their father.
- She’s shopping with the girls on Saturday. He’s golfing with the guys on
Saturday.
- When you do get a free moment one spouse wants to chill and watch a game in one room and the other wants to chill and watch their favorite show in another room.
This has become the norm in marriage and much of it is necessary. But here is the nugget that we want to give to you. The more you do separately the closer you are to separation.
We all need our space and time apart from each other. But you don’t get married with the intention of being separated most of the time. You get married because you have found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.
If you become ok with always being passing ships, that’s a warning sign. If you look forward to shopping with the girls or golfing with the guys more than date night with your spouse, that’s a warning sign.
Here’s a question for you. When people see you do they see two? Are people more likely to say, “You two are always together” or are they more likely to say “Where’s your wife/husband?” If your answer to that question increasingly becomes “Who knows where that man is!” or “I can’t keep up with that woman!” that is a warning sign.
Amos 3:3 says “How can two walk together except they be in agreement”. That verse is so true in marriage. You can’t walk together unless you are in agreement. But let’s flip that verse around and see an opposite truth. How can you be in agreement if you’re never together? It can get to the point where you prefer doing things separately because you disagree so much. Being separated is not the solution to the problem, but part of the cause of the problem because:
The more you do separately the closer you are to separation.
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